Friday, July 29, 2011

I Probably Should Not Talk About This...


We don't usually talk about these sorts of things as teachers but I feel like how we treat each other is extremely important and so I am going to talk about what happened to me today!

So today I was EMBARRASSED and I felt as if I was belittled in front of my peers for no apparent reason!  Here's what happened:

So today during an inservice my instructor had given a word and asked us to talk about it at our tables.  My table full of new teachers had no idea what the term meant, so I said well... I think maybe it is this...  When returning to full group discussions, she asked me to share what I had said in my group.  She was standing right by our table listening to us so I thought I was correct and shared my answer with confidence.  Little did I know, I was completely confused and was not even in the ball park!  In mid speaking, she cut me off and said that I was wrong and then stated what the actual definition was.

I was completely mortified.  I felt as if I was back in elementary school and being singled out in front of the entire class for doing something wrong.  Here I am in room full of kinder and first teachers (about 50) that I don't yet know and I am being called out for being wrong during a small group discussion.

What really was her purpose of calling me out?  Was it because others were saying the wrong thing too, I really don't think so (without getting into the embarrassing details of being wrong - I just don't think this was the case.)  She made no constructive point other than the fact that I was mistaken and just proceeded to give the correct answer.

People just looked at me like, OMG... did that lady really just do that to her?  I just kept smiling even though I wanted to cry!

Five minutes later she came up to me and apologized that she 'had' to do that.  I was again floored that she felt she 'had' to belittle someone to give herself credibility!  I have no problem admitting when I am wrong and am not closed off to new ideas by any means, I just don't understand what made that OK?

Generally we as teachers just tend to forget and move forward because we are there for the love of kids and learning.   I really fear professional development now and OMG if she were to walk in my room I think I just might just have a panic attack!

Have any of you had anything like this happen before or something where you felt as if you were in a safe environment to take risks and been completely embarrassed?  Or any other moments as a teacher you wish you could just erase?  I personally have a huge file of stupid things I have done, but this one I felt as if I did not ask for!

I am labeling this my OMG File because I think talking about these things may make people more aware of how the things they do and say effect people.  And I have to say... I think that's important in education!

Thanks for reading!  Please do share if you feel comfortable to do so.  I am sure I am not alone (even though I feel it!)

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8 comments:

  1. I've been embarrassed at prof dev. meetings before...the one that sticks out the most is when my table of ladies were whispering about something and I said a two word response, like "I know"...(but was absolutely not the one talking prior to that)...the instructor stops, looks at me, uses my name, and asks if I had anything I needed to share. I d.i.e.d. Honestly, the rest of the time, I didn't hear a word she said...I just sat there, trying not to cry or look like any more of an idiot.

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  2. Oh, Jennifer! You did NOT deserve that. I have had a similar thing happen while adding on gifted endorsement. I simply quit the lady's class and refused to pay for the class due to the way she treated me. I told the "Powers that be" about it, too. They actually weren't surprised. What happened to me (in front 0f about 40 seasoned, veteran teachers) was that the lady called me out for being late to class (I'd had a flat tire but she didn't even bother to ask about that!) and shoved (yes SHOVED) the table I was sitting at into my abdomen. She was across the table from me. I almost cried, got through it, but never returned to the class. :*(

    Melly <><

    PS My hubby painted my window!

    Second Grade Strategies for Sizzlin' Second Graders!

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  3. I am so sorry this happened to you. I know exactly how you felt. It happened to me at the end of the school year. This summer during Bible study we talked about a very similar situation. All the women in my Bible study teach at my school. :) Read John 14.... Let not your heart be troubled. I hope it will give you peace.

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  4. I am sorry this happened to you. If she was trying to prove a point, or support a point in her teachings to the entire group, that may have been a marginal excuse, but nonetheless mortifying. She said she "had" to do that...with no other explanation?? I would of HAD to leave that class (at that moment!) and make some sort of outreach to her supervisor!!!! Just not acceptable. Love the people who are kind to you, pray for those who are not.....

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  5. NOT COOL! To me, it sounds like she "has to" put down others to make herself feel more important. Try to take heart in the fact that she probably is not a very happy person!

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  6. unacceptable..... Sorry you had that happen to you. It has happened to me before by another teacher who though she was God's gift to us all. It certainly doesn't feel good. If the presenter really wanted to make the point, she should have let you in on it first and had you play along....then admitted to the class what the plan was after she made her point. Then...give you a prize!

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  7. Sound like that lady was "bucket dipping." You should feel good, though, that you kept smiling and didn't run out or make comments. In the long run it was YOU who set the good example! :)

    Color Me Happy in Kindergarten

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  8. I've had some experiences like this with another colleague at my grade level who also thinks she is SUPER teacher and like Ivrana said, God's gift to all of us 1st grade teachers. She would make rude remarks towards me and try to belittle me but I stood up for myself and called her out on it. Needless to say the last 3 months of school working with her was not pleasant. I left 1st Grade after having taught it for 10 years because I didn't want to deal with her anymore.

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